The Jones' Korean Adventure

On Saturday, Sam and I had the opportunity to go to a Korean wedding. Xuan (pronounced "Schwen"), the Korean teacher at our school, was getting married. The wedding was VERY different from any wedding we've ever been to before, so we thought we'd fill you in on what we saw! (Disclaimer: sorry that the pictures aren't in order...still haven't figured that out!)

The wedding took place in Seoul at one of the wedding chapels there. When we arrived, everyone was milling around outside of the hall entrance. I figured that people just wanted to talk before being seated, but when I looked through the hall doors, I realized that another wedding was going on. Here's the weird part...people outside the hall waiting for the next wedding weren't being quiet...they were talking and laughing, and there weren't doors to close on the other ceremony. I felt kinda bad for the first couple!!

We realized two things about weddings here: First, in Korea it's all about speed...in and out, in and out! In a country with such a large population in relation to land space, you don't have the luxury of having a wedding chapel to yourself for your special day...you just take the time slot that's available to you, and make it work! After a while, the service before Xuan's ended, and the couple was having pictures taken at the front. Here's the weird part...their wedding guests weren't even completely out of the room yet, and the couple was still at the front taking pictures when Xuan's guests started filing in. It seemed so crazy to me, like we were invading their special moment! Second, because Koreans put such an emphasis on appearances, the wedding felt more like a show, where they were trying to create a perfect video, even if it meant sacrificing the sacredness of the ceremony itself.

When Xuan's ceremony began, the lights went down, and a spotlight followed the two Moms down the aisle to the front where...they were met by wedding chapel employees with nametags on who led them to the candles they had to light (I was thinking...who are those people and where did they come from?). The Moms were dressed in traditional handboks...the bride's mother wearing pink, and the groom's mother wearing blue. The gowns were beautiful! They bowed to each other, and then bowed to the guests, welcoming us to the ceremony. Next, the spotlight went back to the groom who was standing in front of the bride at the back...the music changed and he did a quick march to the front of the hall. He bowed to the man who was doing the ceremony, bowed to the bride's parents, bowed to his parents, and then bowed to the guests. Finally, the spotlight went back to Xuan, and she came down the aisle with her dad. Her hubby-to-be, met them near the front, and the two were guided by wedding hall employees to the front.

Here's where the "dress lady" came in. I guess in Korea you hire a lady who is responsible for your dress. Every 1 or 2 minutes she would go up to Xuan and fiddle with her dress until she was satisfied that it was sitting properly. At first I was thinking, "Kinda distracting, but ok"...THEN she stepped over the line. Xuan had to turn around for one part of the ceremony and the dress lady walked up to Xuan, grabbed the bust area of her dress and jiggled it around trying to pull it up a little...in front of everyone! I had to blink, and ask Sam if he had seen what I had just seen, cause I couldn't believe it. It's not like she was trying to be inconspicuous! Before the ceremony was over she had done the "bust shuffle" FIVE more times! Talk about ruining a moment...I wanted to go and stand in front of Xuan to protect her from the dress lady so she could enjoy her moment!

During the ceremony, the couple didn't exchanged any vows or speak to each other at all. They both stood with solemn expressions, Xuan with her eyes kept down the whole time, in front of the man who was leading the ceremony. The man spoke for about 20 minutes, but since it was in Korean, we didn't understand what he was saying. I asked afterwards, and found out that he was telling Xuan's family background, and then her husband's family background. He then wished the couple health and happiness. After he was done speaking, the couple turned to Xuan's parents and bowed to them (the husband actually got down and prostrated himself in front of them). They then did the same thing for his parents. Then a friend came and sang them a song, and the wedding hall provided "mood smoke" during the song...so the couple was standing in swirling smoke while they were being serenaded...another great video shot! After the song, Xuan's new husband had to do a "feat of strength" where he picked up his new wife and did a squat while holding her. She then had to yell out a phrase a number of times, which we found out was saying how good of a husband he was. Then, they walked back down the aisle...and after the video captured the moment, turned right back around and walked up to the front for pictures. The moment they were back at the front, and before the guests had even had a chance to think, "What a nice wedding", the wedding hall employees were removing the white aisle runner, and moving all the flowers and candles away. It was crazy!

The brides in Korea don't wear just one dress...they wear FOUR different outfits (Dad, aren't you glad you only had to pay for one???). There's one dress for the ceremony, which is the typical white, Western dress. Then, she changes into a second outfit for the cutting of the cake and to greet the guests while they eat a meal. After about 20 minutes in this second outfit, she runs off and changes into a very traditional outfit for the "bowing ceremony", where the bride and groom again bow to their parents. Finally, she changes into one more dress (kind of like a prom dress) as a "going away" outfit. Lots of changing!

The meal we were served was delicious! It was all traditional Korean food...and I loved all of it except the jellyfish! I tried it, so I could say I had tried it, but the "jelly" texture really turned my stomach! In a way, it was kind of a healing moment (I got stung by a jellyfish when I was living in Venezuela, which hurt like a mother...so I kept thinking, "who's laughing now Jelly?"), but I don't think I'll ever eat it again! Sam had two mouthfuls, so I think he enjoyed it more then I did! The couple didn't get to eat. They came in, cut the wedding cake with a sword and the help of the two mothers, greeted their guests, and then left. As for the cake...it left too...and nobody got a piece (a great disappointment for me). I guess the majority of the cake was fake, and the top part isn't served anyways, it's just for cutting!

We left shortly after the meal. People kind of come and go as they please. After the food is served, the couple is largely ignored as they go about their different outfit changes and ceremonies while people eat and then leave the wedding hall. Very different! Some parts very strange, but very cool to see!

Here's Xuan in her first dress...that's her new hubby by her side.